With sex on their minds, people are more likely to change their attitudes and engage in deceptive self-presentation, research on sexual priming finds.
In other words, they conform, embellish, and sometimes lie.
The researchers hypothesized that sexual thoughts—or, in the researchers’ more precise terms, the activation of an individual’s sexual system—would increase a person’s efforts to manage first impressions, bringing with it deceptive self-presentation.
What laypersons might describe as having sexual thoughts, researchers refer to more precisely as the activation of the sexual system or sexual priming. The phrase, “means getting people to think about things in a sexual way,” explains study coauthor Harry Reis, a professor of clinical and social sciences at the University of Rochester.
“Technically it means activating a certain set of concepts in the brain. So, the parts of the brain that represent sexuality are being activated. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that people are getting genitally aroused.”
Reis and coauthor Gurit Birnbaum, associate professor of psychology at the IDC Herzliya in Israel, tested that hypothesis on 634 students—328 female and 306 male—with an average age of nearly 25, all of whom identified as heterosexual.
Over the course of four studies, the psychologists exposed one group to sexual stimuli and the control group to neutral stimuli. Study participants, all students at an Israeli university, then interacted with a stranger of the other sex.
Making a good impression
The first study asked two study participants at a time to solve a dilemma faced by a fictitious third person—whether to accept a job offer abroad or to reject the offer to stay close to family and friends.
“When your sexual system is activated you are motivated to present yourself in the best light possible.”
Both participants were assigned one specific position—one for and one against the move abroad—to argue in a face-to-face interaction. Afterwards, participants rated the extent to which they outwardly expressed agreement with the other participant’s position during the interaction.
Compared to participants in the control group (without prior sexual stimuli), participants who had been sexually primed were more likely to express agreement with a contrary opinion advocated by a participant of the other sex. The researchers interpret this behavior as a strategy to make a favorable impression with the stranger, thereby increasing the likelihood of getting closer to this person.
Shifting preferences
The second study examined whether study participants would actually change their declared preferences to conform to a stranger’s ideals. Participants completed a questionnaire that assessed their preferences in various life situations (such as “to what extent does it bother you to date someone who is messy?” or “do you like to cuddle after sex?”). Next, participants were subliminally exposed to either a sexual or a neutral picture prime.
Participants then learned that they would be part of an online chat with another participant, who in reality was an insider—an opposite-sex member of the research team. They looked at an online profile that purported to present the insider’s preferences on various subjects. After viewing the profile, participants were asked to create their own profile to be emailed to the other participant, and asked to complete their profile by rating the same items that had been presented in the insider’s profile.
The researchers found that even a non-conscious sexual stimulus (such as showing an erotic picture in a flash frame inside an otherwise neutral video) led participants to conform more to a potential partner’s preferences across various life situations.
“The desire to impress a potential partner is particularly intense when it comes to preferences that are at the heart of establishing an intimate bond,” write the researchers. “Such attitude changes might be viewed as a subtle exaggeration, or as a harmless move to impress or be closer to a potential partner.”
(Credit: Mike Osadciw/U. Rochester)
How many people have you slept with?
The third and fourth studies addressed whether participants would lie about the number of past sexual partners. The researchers hypothesized that people would reduce the actual number of partners so as to appear more selective—or less promiscuous—to a potential mate.
To test the hypothesis, researchers had participants talk about the total number of sexual partners they had had during a chat with an attractive study insider. Then they were asked the same question in anonymous questionnaires to provide a true baseline for the researchers. The findings were clear: study participants who had been sexually primed were more likely to lie, reporting lower numbers of previous sexual partners to a potential mate compared to the group without sexual priming.
The researchers found that both men and women (all of whom were sexually primed) tended to decrease the reported number of past sexual partners when chatting with an attractive stranger. (By the way, around seven previous partners was the magic number that most people reported in their doctored answers).
(Credit: Mike Osadciw/U. Rochester)
What does sexual priming show?
Interestingly, long-time collaborators Birnbaum and Reis have slightly different takes on what the findings ultimately mean.
“People will do and say just about anything in order to make a connection with an attractive stranger,” says Birnbaum. “When your sexual system is activated you are motivated to present yourself in the best light possible. That means you’ll tell a stranger things that make you look better than you really are.”
But, says Reis, “a lot of it is not necessarily what you’d call a bald-faced lie. Even though it’s clearly not the truth, it’s a way of people finding ways to emphasize different parts of how they see themselves.” And yet: “I think there’s some degree to which it is finding ways to shade one’s perception of the truth. It still counts as a lie, there’s no question about that.”
The Binational Science Foundation supported the work, which appears in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
About the Authors
Harry Reis, professor of clinical and social sciences at the University of Rochester and Gurit Birnbaum, associate professor of psychology at the IDC Herzliya in Israel
Related Books:
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
by Emily Nagoski
A groundbreaking book about why sex is so important to us, and what science is revealing about how we can make our sex lives better.Click for more info or to order
She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
by Ian Kerner
A guide to giving and receiving better oral sex, with an emphasis on female pleasure and satisfaction.Click for more info or to order
The Joy of Sex: The Ultimate Revised Edition
by Alex Comfort
A classic guide to sexual pleasure, updated and expanded for the modern era.Click for more info or to order
The Guide to Getting It On! (The Universe's Coolest and Most Informative Book About Sex)
by Paul Joannides
An entertaining and informative guide to sex, covering everything from anatomy and technique to communication and consent.Click for more info or to order
The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Sexual Passion and Fulfillment
by Jack Morin
An exploration of the psychological and emotional aspects of sexuality, and how we can develop a healthier and more fulfilling relationship with our own desires.
