Image by Maruti Soni
In this Article:
- What does it mean to be bold in crucial life moments?
- How acting boldly can transform personal and professional life.
- Effective strategies for overcoming fear and hesitation.
- How does embracing boldness lead to richer, more fulfilling life experiences?
- What lessons can we learn from others who have acted boldly in the face of fear?
Being Bold in the Moments That Matter
By Michael Thompson.
The woman sat at her kitchen table, staring at the four names laid out in front of her. Despite being seventy-eight years old, her heart raced with the same intensity as it did when she had her first crush as a teenager. Her hand was shaking.
Months earlier, while walking the Camino de Santiago, a five-hundred-mile trek across northern Spain, the woman met a man. It seemed like a typical friendly encounter with a stranger, one of many she'd had since arriving in the country. The conversation lasted only a few minutes, and when they parted ways, they didn't even exchange names.
But after the woman made her way back home to Norway once her journey was over, she couldn't stop thinking about the man. There was something about him. She couldn't quite put her finger on exactly why his face flashed before her closed eyes as she lay in bed alone at night, but she knew she had to see him again.
When she'd planned the trip, meeting someone new was the last thing on her mind. She'd decided to go on the walk to come to grips with the passing of her husband a few years prior. It was her way of reentering the world after her paralyzing loss. Yet, again and again, she kept replaying the exchange she had with the comfortable stranger she'd met. That is, until one day she decided to do something about it.
Not knowing where else to turn, she called the office of the Camino de Santiago and shared the whole story. She explained how she met a man during the walk. She said she didn’t have much information about him, but she knew he was from the Netherlands. She laughed when she admitted she didn’t even know the man’s name.
The woman knew the odds were against her as most organizations have strict rules about passing along the personal information of other people. As luck would have it, the woman she spoke with had a soft spot for the story. It took some digging, but by the time the call ended, the woman had the names and mailing addresses of four Dutchmen who finished the walk around the same time as she did.
All the days she’d spent dreaming about the man had suddenly become very real. She couldn’t believe it. “What do I do now?” she asked herself. “What do I even say?” But a few days later, after pacing her house with the names of the four men in hand, she hatched a plan. Immediately, she sat down and spent the rest of the evening writing out four identical Christmas cards to each of the men.
Three years later, while my dad was walking the Camino de Santiago to straighten out the twists of a recent big life event of his own, he stopped in a café a few kilometers short of Leon, Spain. He pulled up a seat at the bar. He noticed an elderly couple to his right. He nodded and said hello. After sharing a few glasses of wine, my father asked the two of them how they met.
The couple smiled. Then the man explained that one day while going through his mail, he found a letter from a stranger.
If You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get
Sometimes when I’m feeling stuck, I imagine the woman in this story, sitting alone at her kitchen table, thinking about the man she’d met. I imagine her picking up the phone and then putting it back down again, wondering if the whole plan was absurd. But then I imagine her thinking, "What have I got to lose?" and slowly dialing the number to the information center and stumbling her way through asking for help.
I then envision her writing out the fourth letter with the same level of care as she did the first. I can practically feel her heart pounding in her chest. I can see the lines on her face shifting when she finally looks down at her mail one day and sees the man's name staring back at her.
When I think about the woman's actions on the day she decided to lead with boldness, I'm reminded that we'll never get what we want out of life if we don't summon the strength to ask for it.
How many days do we waste living in a state of hesitation because we're scared of being rejected?
How many times have we sat paralyzed thinking of the countless ways our potential dreams could go wrong?
How many opportunities have passed us by because we chose to give more power to our excuses than our possibilities?
Choosing Forward Motion
Stories from people like the elderly woman reinforce the notion that I don't want to live my life in a constant state of hesitation. Instead, I choose forward motion.
Maybe this means you'll have to send a thousand letters. Maybe you'll get rejected, and it will hurt. Maybe you'll find out that what you thought you wanted isn't actually what you want, and you have to change course and start again.
It's all part of the deal. But when you default to taking action, you open yourself to a life of opportunities, stories, and relationships that can bring great joy and meaning into your life.
Use Your Past To Fuel Your Present
A part of me wishes I was more like the people who say they don’t have any regrets. I have loads of regrets. The ones that stick with me the most, though, aren’t from the times something didn’t pan out or I made a mistake that could have been avoided.
Instead, they’re from the times I didn’t dare to try in the first place, the times when I succumbed to fear or gave more weight to the opinions of others over prioritizing my own internal signal. It’s taken me a long time to learn this, but as long as we’re alive and capable, regrets aren’t even regrets—they’re reminders.
Reminders that we can still make the time.
Reminders that the choice is ours.
Reminders that change is possible.
We may get one shot at life. But during our lives, we have the opportunity to take countless shots. It’s our obligation to ourselves and those around us to permit ourselves to make our own green lights in life. An argument can be made that it’s selfish not to as we’re robbing the world of our potential if we don’t summon the courage to go after what we want.
I have many stories where despite my fears, I acted with boldness when it mattered. Times when I stood up when I desperately wanted to stay seated. Moments when I spoke up and said, “This isn’t right!” Moments when I said to hell with it, I have to be me.
These instances didn’t always pan out. Some of them left me emotionally bruised, mentally battered, and financially broke.
It’s Our Scars That Make Us Beautiful
I'll always carry with me the story of the woman and the four Christmas cards. But how I learned about it hides another story that I cherish even more.
At the time my dad met the elderly couple, he was seventy-three years old. He'd recently retired. Rather than kick back with a Corona and lounging on his La-Z-Boy, before his last day at work, he was already planning and training for his next adventure: walking the Camino de Santiago.
But instead of heading straight to the starting point of the Camino as his start date approached, he flew to Barcelona to visit my wife and me while getting over his jetlag.
To this day, in vivid detail, I still remember the exchange we had the morning I walked him to the train station to begin his adventure. This is because, in one action, he demonstrated to me what it takes to squeeze the most out of life.
Feel the Fear, Then Move Forward Anyway
Despite his ever-present quiet confidence, on this day, I could sense his nerves. “You alright?” I asked. “Yup,” he replied as his eyes remained forward. But as soon as the train arrived to take him north, my dad grabbed my shoulder, looked me dead in the eyes, and said — “This is the most scared I’ve ever been.” Then in one fluid motion, he hugged me, grabbed his bag, and made his way onto the train without once looking back.
I stood there paralyzed as early morning commuters rushed past me. “The most scared I’ve ever been?” I said to myself. “How could this be?” Despite being forty-four years old at the time of writing this book, I still see my dad as a superhero, the kind of guy who’s six-foot-five when you close your eyes but five-eleven when you open them.
Throughout his career in the military, he learned how to make brave his baseline, navigating hot zones during some of the world’s most trying times. Between that and all the twists and turns life filled with love and loss had brought his way, I struggled to make sense of what was so scary about walking across Spain.
But the longer I stood on the platform, the more my eyes began to open to the challenge he was facing. Retiring on its own has to be terrifying. Some people look forward to it. People like my dad, however, have zero interest in moving to Florida.
Beginning a New Chapter of Life
His trip to the Camino marked the beginning of a new chapter. No friends were waiting. He didn’t speak the language. Nor did he have any reservations. A seventy-three-year-old American making his way through a foreign country with a backpack and a tent.
Though I was confused when it happened, the image of my dad walking onto the train is one of my most prized memories.
I love the idea that to confidently take his next life steps, he chose to get lost.
I love the idea that no matter how scared he was, turning back was not an option.
I love the fact that choosing to come to Spain and get on that train was his quiet way of shouting -- "I'm just getting started."
His time on the Camino was far from perfect. It rained for days on end. He twisted his ankle alone while climbing a mountain. He made wrong turns that led to places that didn't show up on the map. All those imperfections he experienced, however, are his favorite stories today.
Stories like his chance encounter with an elderly couple when he sat down at a bar and said hello in an attempt to make friends.
Stories that teach you the beauty of bruises. Stories that you only learn by developing the "be bold in the moments that matter" mindset. Or as my dad might say, "Stories when we put our fears aside and we got on the damn train anyway!"
Copyright 2024. All Rights Reserved.
Article Source
Book: Shy by Design
Shy by Design: 12 Timeless Principles to Quietly Stand Out
by Michael Thompson.
In Shy by Design, Michael Thompson shares his inspiring journey of moving from being riddled with self-doubt due to his shyness and debilitating stutter to becoming a sought-after career coach, university leadership lecturer, and strategic communication advisor for top global business executives and entrepreneurs.
The author’s story of navigating the often loud world of sales and communication – while staying true to his shy way of being – will inspire you to embrace your unique strengths and see your “perceived” weaknesses through a more empowered lens. Whether you are a recent graduate, a seasoned executive, or someone seeking personal growth, Shy by Design will provide you with the motivation and action steps to embrace shyness as the superpower that it is.
About the Author
Michael Thompson is a career coach, lecturer at EAE Business School in Barcelona, Spain, and strategic communication advisor to top business leaders worldwide. Growing up, his stutter and social anxiety kept him from pursuing his goals. By turning his supposed weaknesses into his greatest strengths, he developed a system of principles to help people express themselves more confidently and build meaningful relationships without sacrificing their nature. His work has appeared in numerous publications, including Fast Company, Insider, Forbes, INC, MSN, and Apple News.Visit his website at MichaelThompson.art/
Article Recap:
This article delves into the concept of boldness, emphasizing its importance in overcoming fear and making significant life decisions. It discusses practical strategies for embracing boldness, such as mindfulness and preparation, and illustrates these concepts through real-life stories of individuals who have transformed their lives by choosing to act boldly. The narrative encourages readers to confront their fears and embrace opportunities for growth, highlighting the long-term benefits of living courageously.
