Narcissists, like sharks, get a bad press. Both are generally seen as menacing, negative forces to be feared and avoided.
But as any biologist will tell you, sharks play a vital role in the marine ecosystem. And it may be that narcissists also have a necessary part to play in human society.
This of course, goes against the widely accepted perception of personality traits – that it is good to be agreeable and outgoing, and bad to be narcissistic.
After all, narcissistic people engage in risky behaviour, hold an unrealistic superior view of themselves, are overconfident, show little empathy for others, and have little shame or guilt. But if narcissism is so socially toxic, why does it persist and why is it said to be on the rise in modern societies?
The answer is that human nature is complex. And while narcissism is often associated with “dark traits” like psychopathy and sadism, it also has aspects which are widely considered to be positive, such as extroversion and confidence.
In saying this, I do not mean to defend or excuse the worst examples of narcissistic behaviour. Instead, I want to highlight the potentially beneficial elements – which could then enable society to harness the positive potential of “dark” personalities while also curtailing their potential for harm.
The best kind of narcissist
There are two main types of narcissism: “grandiose” and “vulnerable”. Vulnerable narcissists are likely to be more defensive and view the behaviour of others as hostile, whereas grandiose narcissists usually have an over inflated sense of importance and a preoccupation with status and power.
The results from our studies show that grandiose narcissism correlates with highly positive components of mental toughness. These include confidence and a focus on achieving goals, which help protect against symptoms of depression and stress.
The association between narcissism and mental toughness may help to explain the variation in symptoms of depression in society. If a person is more mentally tough, they are likely to embrace challenges head on, rather than viewing them as a hurdle.
Playing a vital role. Shutterstock/Ken Kiefer
So while not all dimensions of narcissism are good, certain aspects can lead to positive outcomes. And a little bit of narcissism can be a useful tool when faced with stressful situations, providing that extra bit of mental toughness we need to get through.
It’s a bit like having the ability to run when walking is not enough. The idea is that people need to be flexible. They need to walk when that’s all that is required, but run when that’s what’s necessary. Likewise, the ability to call on a little bit of narcissism when faced with a challenge, socially or professionally, is a useful skill.
A bridge to the other side
Recent research from our lab suggests that narcissism may act as a bridge connecting the “dark” (anti-social) and “light” (pro-social) sides of the human personality. Put simply, individuals can cross that bridge to use their dark traits when facing a challenge, and pro-social characteristics when in a safe environment.
Our work suggests that instead of perceiving human personality as a dichotomy (narcissistic versus agreeable) we should treat it as a constantly changing spectrum.
It is not about promoting grandiosity over healthy self-esteem and modesty. Instead it is about promoting diversity of people and ideas by advocating that dark traits, such as narcissism, should not be seen as either good or bad. They are products of evolution, and expressions of human nature that may be beneficial or harmful depending on the context.
This may help to reduce the marginalisation of individuals that score high on dark traits, and work out how best to cultivate some manifestations of these traits, while discouraging others, for the collective good.
It is too simplistic to say that personality traits like narcissism, which help individual empowerment, are socially toxic. People are trying to adapt, survive and succeed in a social, political and economic environment that promotes the “self-made man or woman”, and if they exhibit antagonistic traits such as narcissism they receive negative attention. Yet grandiose narcissism may be the key to protecting individuals from such needless pressure.
Nor do I think there are individuals who live without narcissism. In common with other psychological traits, it exists on a spectrum, with some individuals scoring higher than others.
Elsewhere in the natural world, a human fear and distrust of sharks has led to widespread attitude of “us” versus “them”. After the movie Jaws was released, according to one conservationist there was a “collective testosterone rush” which led to thousands of anglers targeting and killing sharks off the American coast.
Shark numbers have dropped dramatically (by up to 92%) in the past half century. So just as we are starting to understand the importance of sharks for the marine ecosystem, we have run out of sharks to study.
We should not let narcissists be similarly marginalised just because we don’t understand them. Instead of demonising parts of our personality, we need to celebrate all of its aspects – and work out how best to use them, for our own benefit and the benefit of society.
About the Author
Kostas Papageorgiou, Lecturer in Psychology, Queen's University Belfast
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
Related Books:
The Narcissist Next Door: Understanding the Monster in Your Family, in Your Office, in Your Bed-in Your World
by Jeffrey Kluger
In this provocative book, bestselling author and science writer Jeffrey Kluger explores the fascinating world of narcissism, from the everyday to the extreme. He offers insight into the narcissistic personality and how to deal with the narcissists in our lives. ISBN-10: 1594633918
Click for more info or to order
The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse
by Debbie Mirza
In this insightful book, psychotherapist and author Debbie Mirza delves into the world of covert narcissism, a hidden form of emotional and psychological abuse. She offers practical strategies for recognizing the traits of covert narcissism and finding healing from its effects. ISBN-10: 1521937639
Click for more info or to order
The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment
by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman
In this seminal work, family therapists Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman explore the dynamics of the narcissistic family, a dysfunctional system that perpetuates narcissism across generations. They offer practical advice for diagnosing and treating the effects of narcissism in families. ISBN-10: 0787908703
Click for more info or to order
The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family
by Eleanor Payson
In this enlightening book, psychotherapist Eleanor Payson explores the world of narcissism in relationships, from the everyday to the extreme. She offers practical strategies for coping with the one-way relationship and finding healing from its effects. ISBN-10: 0972072837
