As A Course in Miracles points out, we can only feel God's love to the degree that we're willing to share it with others. As we let our views of other people become healed, we open an ever-wider channel to God's love within us.
Introduction
To begin, please choose a person whom you don't feel a great deal of appreciation toward. It could be someone you love who is currently bothering you, someone you strongly dislike, or someone whom you feel just slightly negative toward.
If you wish, you can write his or her name.
___________________________________ (ex. My supervisor Dorothy.)
Step One
Let's identify our specific feelings when we think about this person. This step calls for a great deal of honesty. It may be difficult to acknowledge some of our dark emotions -- particularly if this person is a friend or family member. However, our negative feelings will point us in the direction of the thoughts that need to be healed.
Let's complete the following sentence:
"When I think about this person, I feel _________________________. (ex. When I think about Dorothy I feel angry and somewhat sad. I also feel defensive.)
Let's now take an honest look at our perceptions of this person. Using our feelings as a lead-in, let's complete the following sentence:
"When I think about this person, I feel this way because I see him/her as ___________________________. (ex. When I think about Dorothy, I feel angry, sad and defensive because I see her as a really insensitive person. I see her as someone who is in her own world -- someone who never thinks about other people's feelings.)
The final part of the above sentence represents the thoughts and perceptions in need of healing. Our current view of (or thoughts about) this person leads to our current uncomfortable feelings. God's new, inspired view of this same person will lead to feelings of compassion and peace.
Having written out our feelings and thoughts, we have completed step one. We can now move immediately on to step two.
Step Two
It may be helpful to begin by taking full responsibility for our current thoughts about this person. I like to say a brief prayer:
God, I take ownership of my thoughts about this person.
These thoughts are mine, to keep or give away.
I choose to give them away.
I want to be free of my old view.
I want to receive something new.
Then let's spend some time actually feeling ourselves offering our old view to God, to be removed. If you find it helpful to use imagery or any other supports in this process, I encourage you to do so.
Here is one form of imagery that I occasionally use:
God, I have been seeing this person through a cracked set of eyeglasses.
The cracks are my dark thoughts, and they are distorting my vision.
I can't see this person clearly.
My old thoughts are distorting my view.
God, I'm taking off these cracked eyeglasses and handing them to you.
Here they are -- I give them to you.
I ask you for a clearer vision of this person.
As we sit at step two, offering God our old perceptions of this person, we may want to occasionally say:
God, I don't know how to look at this person.
I just don't know.
I give you my old thoughts and perceptions.
My mind is open to something new.
When we can say that and really mean it -- really feel it -- we have completed step two. If it takes a bit of "handing over" time before you feel your mind becoming open, that's normal. I find that I sometimes need to engage in this offering-the-old-perception-to-God process for five, ten, or fifteen minutes before I begin to feel my mind open.
Step Three
When you do feel that an opening has been created, we can move on to step three -- the true goal. We can say:
God, I have cleared a space in my mind.
Please give me a new view of this person.
How do you see him/her?
I don't want to use my old way of seeing anymore.
I ask for your replacement.
Please show me this person as you see him/her.
Then let's hold our minds open to the inflow of a new view. We may begin to feel a trickle of compassion enter our minds, or just a slight increase in peace. Or we may begin to receive insights into the person's behavior -- insights that will inspire a greater sense of understanding in us. We may begin to sense a hint of beauty in this person that we hadn't seen before. The inflow of God's new vision can take any number of forms.
The Course points out that our view of this person will spill over into our view of ourselves. As we let our dark thoughts and feelings be replaced by miracles -- God's loving thoughts -- our minds are healed. Our outer relationship with this person may or may not begin to show immediate improvement. However, we will receive an inner healing in this process.
Again, the inflow of God's new vision may come over days or weeks. At times I have engaged in this process, and have felt only a slight increase in peace. However, the next time I interacted with the person in question, there was a different "tone" to my responses. Doing the three-step process set the stage for an evolving new perception of the relationship.
If we do receive a sense of compassion, tolerance, peace, or love during our practice of step three, we may want to "throw the gate open" to that love by consciously allowing it to extend to the person in question, as well as others.
We can, for example, "say" to this person as we think about him/her:
I bless you with the love of God. You deserve it, as do I.
We can ask God to bring to mind other people who are in need of blessing, and say the same to them. That proactive "extension" of God's love will help to keep it flowing into and through us.
Examples
In order to more fully illustrate the process of this exercise, let me offer a few examples of how it may look.
Let's say, as a first case, that a person is having an argument with her husband. She decides to run through this exercise.
She begins by identifying her specific feelings about the situation. "When I think about this conflict with my husband," she says, "I feel somewhat resentful. I also feel worried."
She then identifies the specific perceptions (or thoughts) that are generating those feelings.
"I feel resentful because I see my husband as stubborn and closed-minded. I see him as totally off the wall about this issue."
She runs through the flip side of the equation, and becomes honest about her self-perception as well.
She says, "I see myself as trapped. I see myself as powerless to resolve this situation. That's what's causing my sense of worry."
That honest identification of her thoughts and feelings completes step one.
She then gathers up those various perceptions and brings them to God.
"God," she says, "I see my husband as stubborn and closed-minded. I see myself as trapped and powerless. God, I take responsibility for those perceptions. I know that you can inspire a whole new view of my husband and myself."
She spends some time "looking" at each one of those perceptions, and hands each one over to God. She actually feels her heart lifted as she does this. She begins to feel an open space being created in her mind for a new set of thoughts to enter.
After a few minutes spent handing over her old perceptions to God, and feeling them leave her, she says another prayer:
"God," she says, "please fill my heart with a sense of love and strength. Help me to see my husband and myself through your vision. God, I want to be at peace, and I want to respond to this situation from a place of peace and clarity. I am open to a miracle of healing."
The woman then holds her mind open as wide as she can, inviting a new set of inner experiences to enter. After a few minutes, she begins to feel a little more peaceful. Her mind wavers between the old feelings and this new peace, but as the old thoughts arise in her mind, she hands them over to God and returns to a state of open-mindedness.
As the minutes go by, some comforting thoughts come to mind. She realizes, for example, that she and her husband have always been able to resolve these types of arguments in a peaceful and mutually supportive way. That realization gives her hope. She also begins to feel stronger in her commitment to finding a solution to the conflict. Her feelings of vulnerability diminish, and she feels more inspired to find a resolution.
As the woman feels a sense of peace stabilizing, several thoughts come to mind to share with her husband -- potential solutions to the conflict. She decides to call him on the phone and share them with him.
In that example, the woman's husband may or may not react favorably to her phone call. But by engaging in this type of practice, the woman has let her own mind be comforted. She has accepted an inner healing. This will undoubtedly assist her in her efforts to find a resolution to the relationship conflict.
Let me offer another example. Let's imagine a student who dislikes going to school. This student has never felt very close to his friends, and doesn't feel as though he "fits in" at school. He decides to run through this exercise.
"When I think about going to school," he says, "I feel stressed and upset." However, that doesn't feel like the deepest level of his emotions. He tries to become even more precise about his feelings.
"When I think about school," he says, "I feel angry at people and a little lonely." That feels like a more honest assessment of his feelings. He then goes deeper, and looks at the thoughts and perceptions behind those feelings.
"When I think about going to school," he says, "I feel angry and lonely because I see myself as left out from the crowd. I see myself as unable to fit in."
He also acknowledges his perceptions of other people. "I see the other kids as dumb," he says. "I see them as self-absorbed and uninterested in me or anyone else."
He then immediately brings those honestly-identified perceptions to God. He says, "God, I could use some help with this. I'll try to open my mind to a new view of myself and the other kids. I'll trade my old views for something new."
He then imagines himself handing over his old views to God, and letting them be taken away. His mind becomes a bit more open.
"Give me something new," he says, and as he says that he opens his mind to a new, more peaceful view of the situation.
As this young man sits, holding his mind open to a new view of himself and his fellow students, a couple of realizations come to mind. He remembers that, last week, another student invited him to lunch, but that he refused. "Maybe that kid could use a friend," he says. "I don't know why I said no to him."
He also begins to realize that the "bravado" of the popular kids at school is really just a cover for insecurity. "It's all an act," he says. For the first time, he really sees it. His anger toward the other students changes to something more compassionate. "They're probably feeling bad, too," he thinks.
As he sits, keeping his mind open to a new view of himself and his fellow students, he begins to feel a sense of appreciation for his own talents. "I'm a pretty nice guy when I'm in a good mood," he says, "and I like to help people. Maybe I can try harder to reach out to other kids who could use some help."
After a few minutes, he feels a bit better. He decides to try to keep these new thoughts in mind at school the next day -- especially the realization that the bravado of the "in" crowd is a mask for insecurity, and that he himself can reach out to other kids who are feeling alone. He feels complete with the process.
In that example, there may or may not be a magical transformation of the student's experience at school the next day. But at least an opening has been made for something new.
By identifying his painful feelings and underlying thoughts -- and becoming willing to exchange them for something more inspired -- this person has taken a step toward peace of mind. He may need to run through this process hundreds of times before a new, more peace-producing set of thoughts becomes stable. But every step is helpful.
Reprinted with permission of the publisher,
Quiet Mind Publishing, LLC. ©2002.
Article Source
Inner Healing: A Spiritual Process - Inspired by a Course in Miracles and Other Spiritual Practices
by Dan Joseph.
Inner Healing: A Spiritual Process is a book that outlines a three-step process of inner healing. These three steps involve: (1) acknowledging our inner blocks (any distressing thought or feeling), (2) becoming willing to prayerfully release them, and (3) opening to an inner experience of comfort and peace. Inner Healing contains four simple exercises designed to support this practice.
About the Author
Dan Joseph is the author of Inspired by Miracles, called "up-lifting, rewarding, strongly recommended" by the Midwest Book Review. For the past ten years, Dan Joseph has been writing about the connection between spirituality and psychology. In his work, he frequently draws on themes from A Course in Miracles, a program of "spiritual psychotherapy."
