Image by Duy Tran

In This Article:

• Discover how our family’s cancer journey was shaped by love and support.
• How love and intentionality help navigate the challenges of a cancer diagnosis.
• The impact of breast cancer on family dynamics and personal growth.
• How our experience led to helping others through cancer awareness and support.
• Gain insights on how to be love and support loved ones during difficult times.

Our Cancer Journey: Learning Strength and Being Love

by Stu Crum.

The year 2007 was a time of great busyness. My daughter, Katherine, was a senior in high school, and naturally we were very involved in her activities. There was so much to do, including visiting colleges she might want to attend the next year.

My wife, Mia, shared with me that she felt a lump in her breast and a few days later confirmed our greatest fear.

Doctors confirmed that Mia had Stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma, and it had spread to two lymph nodes. She was looking at surgery, six months of chemotherapy, and radiation.

Breast cancer rocked our world. My wife was 42 years old with no breast cancer in her family history.

Surrendering to Another Reality

Her entire life was focused on being Supermom and volunteering throughout our Houston community. Giving support to others had become her forte, her trademark, and now she had to surrender to another reality that allowed people to be there for her.

She didn’t like switching roles but found the courage to walk this road with strength and faith.

As it turned out, her journey changed our family for the better.

Cancer made us stronger.

Cancer strengthened our marriage.

Cancer strengthened our faith.

And cancer taught us all that each day is a gift.

I found such beauty in her strength. Her hair fell out. She had numerous side effects but continued to fight this battle.

I was still building a career, needing to travel, but my wife’s diagnosis forced me to slow down and be a rock for her. What mattered was beating cancer, and we all fought hard. I tried to make her feel loved and cared for on days when the tears would not stop.

I did this with three little words.

“You are beautiful.”

The Cancer Stop Sign: Changing Habits

In some ways, cancer is a stop sign. It tells you that all your expectations and busy habits must change. At least for a while. It didn’t end my business responsibilities, but it forced us to reflect on our choices and pace.

About six months into her treatment, the 2007 holiday season rolled around, but cancer doesn’t pause for ceremony. She had a Christmas Eve chemotherapy session scheduled, and the regimen cannot be changed for mere inconvenience.

At 6 p.m. on Christmas Eve, we arrived at the hospital with our children in tow. We came up with the idea to use the occasion as an excuse to spread a little good cheer. Mia wore a big reindeer headband with little bells that dangled, jingled, and jangled in all directions. I was also armed with a basket full of candy canes, which the children and I passed out to all the other patients and their companions.

As a family we wore Santa hats and brought an array of simple gifts. Together we spread out in the waiting room, a candy cane calvary intending to sweeten the day.

But we soon realized that many people were not as fortunate. We were surrounded by unspeakable suffering.

I put a candy cane in the frail hand of a man or woman knowing they probably wouldn’t see the next Christmas or bother with New Year’s resolutions. Other patients hunched over in their wheelchairs, attached to an IV, may have been mere steps away from saying goodbye to family and friends.

A Humbling Wake-Up Call

It was a humbling wake-up call for all of us. We felt hollow for referring to her cancer experience as “a journey” that she would endure and then leave behind, like a discarded cocoon. As awful as she felt after each treatment, we believed that she would be healed and fly from the trauma with the wings of a beautiful butterfly. A different type of storybook ending awaited many of the people who smiled when I handed them candy.

The health scare made us appreciate Mia for all the things she did that we just didn’t realize she was doing for us. And we came to realize how precious good health is.

It’s part of her story, and it’s part of our family’s story and something that I don’t want to call a blessing because blessing wouldn’t be the right word. But we grew from this, and from that time onward, Mia has had a ministry working with other women who often are afraid of getting a mammogram.

Feel Beautiful

After that year of treatment, she traveled with me to conferences where she told her story. When I joined Bridgestone, Mia created sessions called Think Pink and Feel Beautiful. She invited doctors to speak about the importance of early detection and mammograms.

Her volunteer work has helped hundreds of women endure breast cancer and the emotional aspects of losing hair and undergoing treatment—and daring to dream about the future.

After one of our Think Pink and Feel Beautiful sessions, one of the women who attended came up to Mia and said, “Because you did this today, I will now go get a mammogram.”

She once sat with a woman in a waiting room who confessed, “We have no insurance, no health insurance. We’ve had to mortgage our home because I want to live.” I was so thankful to be an employee of Shell, which offered amazing benefits and health coverage for my beautiful wife.

After a difficult year, Mia rang the bell and was cancer free.

Stu Speak:

We can’t control all our health issues, but we can control attitude. Luck has nothing to do with it. All the unexpected events that come your way are not ‘bad luck.’ It’s just life. Regardless of what is happening in your life right now, you have the power to change your attitude toward it. It may take days, weeks, months, or years. But for sure the one thing it will not take is ‘good luck.’

The Intentional Playbook: Be Love

Being intentional helps build character by clearing our heads and developing habits that cut through distractions. We take aim and discover that we can fulfill goals that were once just the stuff of dreams.

But intentions do not make us God.

I know it is corny, but every spring when flowers punch up through the soil after a long winter, I think, “That’s love.”

We can’t be God, but we can be love. Cultivate it.

When you feel helpless, be love.

When you feel defeated, be love.

When you are speechless as you watch others suffer, be love.

Copyright 2024 by Stu Crum. All Rights Reserved.
Adapted with permission.

Article Source:

BOOK: cArticle Recap:

This article recounts a family's experience with breast cancer and how it transformed their lives through the power of love. It highlights the importance of support, both emotional and practical, in navigating the challenges of a cancer diagnosis. The story emphasizes how love can be a guiding force, helping to strengthen family bonds and inspire others. It also touches on the significance of spreading awareness and providing support to others facing similar challenges.