At least once a week, I find myself asking: How is it possible?

How is it possible that it is already December when it was just yesterday that we were clicking our respective crystal glasses of champagne to toast in 2017?

Years fly by more quickly as I age. As a young girl, winter and spring crawled as I awaited my three-month summer vacation. Time took on a different meaning when I was young, for I felt I had so much of it and relative to my age, I did. Now, I try not to squander my days, choosing how to spend the time I have left, whether months, a year or many years.

Questioning My Age

This leads me to the same question about my age.

How is it possible that when I view photos of my parents at the same age as I am today, they appear much older than I, but perhaps this is wishful and incorrect thinking. Do all aging children believe they look younger than their parents did at the same age? Does every generation utter the phrase, “Seventy is the new 60 and 50 is the new 40?

Again, I ask How is it possible that my child now has children of his own? It was just yesterday that I was holding his hand as he crossed the street, yet now he holds his 3-year old son’s hand. My grandson recognizes me as Nana and has no understanding yet that his daddy is actually one of my babies.

I remember my own pregnancy days as if they were yesterday, yet they were over three decades ago. And, how is it possible that words like babysitter, carpool, after-school activities have been replaced with other words: retirement, social security, Medicare, and senior discount?

Living and Growing

We purchased our house one week before our third son was born, so how is it possible that we have lived here for 32 years? Within the walls of our home, little boys became men. Countless temper tantrums and hugs of forgiveness were experienced—by all of us. We raised Teddy for 14 years and now have our second fury child, Emma, for 11 ½ years.

How is it possible that so many beings lived and grew and added to the depth of our love within the walls of our family home?

Moving On From A Career

How is it possible that I spent my lifetime building my career, willingly jumping through the necessary hoops to prove my academic and professional worth only to retire this year, closing the proverbial door on my full-time teaching career.

During the decades of my gratifying instruction, I collected meaningful trinkets from students that I placed strategically around my office. It was quite traumatic to disassemble my office, to remove the foundation of joyful student memories.

I found great solace in my college office and I wonder how it is possible that another professor now inhabits ‘my’ office. My name has been removed from the door and my mailbox possesses another professor’s name. How is it possible?

The Speed of Life

There seems to be a time lapse of only a few years between youth and aging, between mother and grandmother, for that is again how fast life is going.

At this time of year, I often look back to see how far I have come, hindsight providing me a necessary perspective to my own personal growth, especially now that it is almost 2018.

So, I remove the champagne glasses from the shelf and chill the bubbly for our New Year’s Eve celebration.

How is it possible?

 Subtitles added by InnerSelf

Copyright 2017 by Barbara Jaffe. All Rights Reserved.

Book by this Author

When Will I Be Good Enough?: A Replacement Child’s Journey to Healing
by Barbara Jaffe Ed.D.

Barbara was born to fill the vacancy left by her little brother, who died at the age of two. This book tells the multitude of readers who have been “replacement children” for many reasons, that they, too, can find hope and healing, as did Barbara.

Click here for more info and/or to order this book.accepting

About the Author

Barbara Jaffe, Ed.D. is an award-winning English professor at El Camino College, California and is a Fellow in UCLA’s Department of Education. She has offered countless workshops to students to help them find their writers’ voices through writing non-fiction. Her college has honored her by naming her Outstanding Woman of the Year and Distinguished Teacher of the Year. Visit her website at BarbaraAnnJaffe.com

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