Image by Annick Vanblaere. 

(Video - above - is a short 3:45 recap of the article. Audio - below - is for the whole article.)

In this Article

• How you can effectively release negative energy absorbed from others.
• What techniques help in refusing emotional dumping?
• How acknowledging and releasing your own negative emotions help improve well-being.
• What role does visualization play in cleansing negative energy?
• How can physical actions aid in the emotional release process?

It's Not Yours, Let It Go: Releasing Negative Energy

by Marie T Russell, InnerSelf.com

The other day, I went into a store where a friend works, and found her all frazzled and upset. A disgruntled customer had come in and spewed his anger out at her. She was still reeling from that outburst of dark energy. Plus on top of that, it was the day after Black Friday so she was tired and overworked. Not a happy combination.

I suggested she let it go, shake it off, and not take on his bad energy, but she wasn’t in a place to hear it. She was upset, she was behind in her paperwork, and couldn’t take the time to deal with her energy at that moment.

After I left, I reflected on how often we can get caught up in that emotional situation – especially those of us who are sensitive and empathic. We feel the emotion in an other, whether they dump it on us or not, and we become like a sponge and absorb it. The person who dumped their anger on us feels better and we’re the ones carrying it around... unless we consciously let it go.

Are You Still Carrying Her?

Which reminds me of a Zen parable… Two monks, one young, one old, were on a journey and came to a river that had to be forded on foot. There was a young woman standing by the river bank who wasn’t able to cross on her own as the current was very strong. In their tradition, these monks were not allowed to touch a woman.

Yet, the older monk, seeing the woman’s plight, offered to carry her across the river. Once he reached the other bank he promptly set her down and continued on his way.

Several miles later, the younger monk no longer being able to hold his tongue asked: “How could you carry that woman? We are monks and we are not supposed to touch women.” The older monk replied with a gentle smile: “I set her down hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?”

And isn’t that how we are? We pick up someone’s anger as it is dumped on us, or their sadness, or their judgment, or whatever dark energy, and rather than let it go or drop it, we carry it within us for hours, sometimes days, weeks, or years.

So what can we do? Let it go! Of course, this is easy to say, but not always as easy to do. Can we be like the proverbial duck and let that energy run off our feathers?

Letting it go…

So how do we let go? The first thing I do is take in a slow deep breath, and loudly breathe it out. Or if I’m in public, I just breathe out with energy but silently. Do this as many times as needed. You can also imagine that you're blowing it into a balloon and then set the balloon free to go up to the sun and be burnt by the sun and returned to pure energy. Or you can throw it into a compost pile (in your imagination) and see it disintegrate and turn into rich fertile soil. After all it just energy... not good or bad. It's just that in our body, anger can be harmful, but when converted to pure energy, it is neutral.

Another thing to do to release the energy is to rub your hands briskly down your arms as if there was something on there you’re brushing off (which there is). You can do the same on your shoulders… just brush off the energy. You can also shake your hands as if you’re shaking some water off of them. Or visually see yourself emptying the bucket of anger out into a drain. Basically the idea is to blow out or shake off and let go of the other person’s energy rather than hold on to it.

Of course, if you are aware of it ahead of time -- as the energy is headed your way -- you can mentally put up a plexiglass wall between you and the person’s dark energy so that the energy will not hit you but stop at the “wall”. You will see the person, hear them, but the plexiglass keeps their energy from entering your space and your body.

Silly? Not really, as it’s all about intention. Your intention is to stop the energy from entering your space and you create a method with your imagination to do so. Since the mind does not know the difference between what is imagined and what is real, then for the mind it becomes real, and it works.

Now of course, we might only remember to do this after the anger has been dumped on us, but we can still use a similar technique by filling ourselves with light: Imagine you’re standing under a shower which is dropping bright white cleansing water on you and washing off all that toxic energy, inside and out. Do this with the intent of clearing out this energy which is not yours. This will help you regain a sense of inner peace.

It Ain’t Mine!

We are also susceptible of picking up energy while in public places even if it’s not directed at us. You may have experienced this, either with positive or negative energy. If you are in the middle of people who are genuinely happy and loving, you will come out of that gathering having “picked up” some of that energy.

Now you might say that’s not the case for you, and this is because the happiness in others can have the opposite effect if it’s triggering something in you that needs to be released. Seeing someone else happy and joyful might bring out some anger and jealousy. Good! This gives you the opportunity to see it, acknowledge it, and let it go.

You can let it go using the shower technique mentioned above. But first, since this is “your” energy, you might want to take a few minutes to look at it and see its source and what its message or teaching is. Once you’ve done that, then you can wash the dark energy away while keeping the lesson or message.

However, many times when we’re in public, we pick up negative energy. My husband, who is very sensitive (whether he acknowledges it or not), will pick up other people’s energy and feel tired afterwards. Every time he goes to the doctor at the VA (Veterans Affairs) he comes back exhausted and feeling drained. Why? Because when he is there he is surrounded by people who are in the throes of their illness, or anger, or despair, or impatience, etc., and as an empath, he picks up on that energy (perhaps in a subconscious effort to alleviate their pain) and then he carries it with him. My suggestion to him when he gets home is to take a shower and rinse it off, and then take a nap and let it go.

You Don’t Have to Take It!

Just as with any “gift” that is given to us, we don’t have to accept the anger or other emotion that is directed at us. Now of course, we’ve been brought up to accept gifts graciously, even when we don’t want them, don’t need them, or don’t like them. But in the case of people “gifting us” their anger or their other dark and negative energies, we can (and should) say no.

We don’t have to say no out loud to the other person, but we have to make an internal choice and say no! No, I will not accept this energy. No, I will not absorb this energy. No, I will not get entangled with it or let it be entangled with me.

And sometimes, people are just looking for someone to dump their energy on… They don’t like the energy, it doesn’t feel good (whether it’s anger or something else) and since they’ve never been taught how to handle their dark emotions, they look for the closest or easiest person to “give it” to. Yet, there again, you can say no.

Make a conscious decision to let it go… don’t accept the “gift” that others are trying to get rid of. It’s a bit like when someone is trying to clean out their clutter, and wanting to “gift you” with some of their stuff. Just say no thank you.

Don’t take on what isn’t yours. Don’t accept other people’s garbage. Refuse it or let it go as soon as it is “offered” or dumped on you. If it ain’t yours… let it go. And if it is yours, become aware of it, understand it, and then let it go.

Copyright 2024. All Rights Reserved.

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About The Author

Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com

Article Recap

"It’s Not Yours... Let It Go" discusses practical strategies for dealing with and releasing negative energy absorbed from others. It explores methods like deep breathing, visualization, and physical gestures to refuse or dispel negative emotional energy. The article emphasizes the importance of not taking on emotions that aren't yours, providing techniques for both rejecting and detoxifying unwanted emotional energies and restoring one's sense of peace and emotional autonomy.